My Achy Breaky Head

Urgh! I have a horrible headache. From physical causes and from the inevitable weekly hours spent on attempting to promote the book. I have to contact Book Promotions. I wanted them to get going on a new campaign for me but apparently they didn't get my most recent email. I'm also attempting to simplify things and get rid of some extraneous email addresses that have become too cluttered. I need one for business contacts, one for my millions of fans (hold on a minute, I need to stop laughing) and one for personal contacts. I've started using Care2 email for the personal contacts. The advertising that comes with the email is all about socially relevant causes and I get alerts about social and environmental issues such as Japan's continued hunting of whales. Shame!

I think one of my new years resolutions needs to be condense and simplify. Which may be as unrealistic as losing 50 pounds this year but I think I need to start aiming high again.

Hope your upcoming year is splendid!

Lily

Author's Promotion

If you have a book out that you need pimped but don't have a lot of money to spend on advertising, you need to go to Author's Promotion. This UK-based company has fair prices and will work hard for you. They will review your book and create a promotional website, handle an adwords campaign for the site, and have numerous other helpful services. The basic service is US $599. Tell them that Lily Strange sent you. I'm not a paid endorser--I don't get anything but good karma for informing you of this service. But I do use them and believe that any new author would be advised to try them as well.
Peace,
Lily

And then I told Google...

Google Adwords had a survey for it's customers. And here is what I said in the comment box:

I hate keywords with a passion! I really don't understand what makes a good keyword. The keywords tool is semi-useful. It seems that one has to get professional training in this area in order for it to really be effective, otherwise it's sort of like peeing your advertising dollars down the drain. The adwords does drive traffic to my site. I wish it could be a bit more cost effective.

Pimping Myself = Genius

Cash Advance Loans

But if I'm so damn schmart, why ain't I rich??
Maybe I'm just a wise guy. Or a smart ass.

Am I A Snob?

Looking for more places to promote my book, I found a free book promotion website. A place for unknown and broke authors to promote their book, and I am an unknown and broke author. At first it seemed promising. The poetry book by one Cory V. Clark entitled Reflections of a Dark Soul seemed a kindred spirit to Lost Beneath the Surface. But on the same page was a promotional blurb for I Was A Sasquatch Sex Slave. It gave me pause. Could there be such a thing as bad publicity?
Oh what the fuck. I may be tired but I'm far from proud. If our book ends up being lumped in with I Was A Sasquatch Sex Slave throughout history, my co-author can kick me when I join him on the other side.
Peace,
Lily

Scratching my Head

I'm still not quite getting why this very well written press release only got me three people wanting to review the book out of the literally hundreds of periodicals it was sent to. I'm wondering where to go from here on my limited budget. One thing I can tell you--traffic exchanges are a bust if you're trying to promote anything artistic. You're marketing to marketers. Not quite the audience that's going to be gung-ho over the creative arts.

You know...I'm not claiming to be the next Stephen King or anything, but I would think that in this whole entire world there has to be at least 100 people that are as weird as I am, or at least curious about the subject matter of the book. I can understand being nervous about paying almost seventeen bucks for a book from an author you've never heard of before. But you can bust out five bucks and download the e-book!

Here, I'll even give you the link and make it easy.

I'll even give you the way to check out a few chapters first. That's just how damn nice I am.

Or you can look at the official website and find out more about the madness behind the method.

Yes, I would like some cheese with that whine, thanks for asking. And it's my party and I'll cry if I want to.

Where the hell do I go from here???

Soliciting the Shopkeepers

Ok, Kiddies, here is the email I just sent out to several metaphysical bookstores across the country. I'm now looking to solicit 'em in Canada and Europe! I may be stalled but I will not be stopped. You can't keep a good media whore down. Just ask Paris Hilton or Britney Spears!
(I'm actually not a good media whore at all. But even a crappy media whore has to eat.)

Hello,
My name is Lily Strange and I recently published my first book. The interesting thing about this book is the fact that I had a ghost writer who worked with me--not someone who wrote the story and I put my name to it, but a real ghost who worked in conjunction with me on the book.
Below you will find information from my publisher's sales sheet and my website address so you can find out for yourself if this book is something you'd be interested in carrying. I would also be willing to have the book sold as a consignment item if you'd prefer.
Please feel free to email me and I will get back to you right away. If you would prefer to talk to me in person, email me your phone number and a good time to call.
By the way, I got your email address from the Soul 2 Soul directory at http://www.harusami.com
Thanks and blessings,
Lily

http://www.lilystrange.com
Ia, Ia, Cthulhu Fthagn!

Outskirts Press Sales Sheet
Eternal Death
Lost Beneath The Surface
by Lily Strange

Format:
5.5 x 8.5 Paperback
ISBN:
978-1-4327-0591-6
Cover Price:
$16.95
Trade Discount:
20%
Also Available:
Ebook Edition
Pages:
504
Category:
Fiction/ Horror
Available at:
http://www.outskirtspress.com/lilystrange
Distributed via:
Ingram, Baker & Taylor
Published by:
Outskirts Press, Inc.
Full trade discount at:
http://www.outskirtspress.com/buybooks
Publication Date:
Jun 25, 2007

With her long-awaited second marriage finally about to become a reality, acclaimed novelist Terry Bruckham is besieged with painful and terrifying memories. Those most closely associated with her are also assailed by disturbing dreams and obsessive thoughts. A sinister plan is being enacted in the Earth's Dreamlands, home to the sleeping and the Earthbound dead, as a troubled spirit wrestles with the warring pieces of his own psyche for the well-being or destruction of everything that exists. Discover the world beyond the wall of sleep and its marvelous residents, both good and evil.


About the Author, Lily Strange

Lily Strange is the pen name of a creative soul who describes herself as "a reluctant medium." In real life, she is an emergency medical technician by profession. She is currently employed in a retirement community. Due to her innate abilities and personal challenges, Lily is also a lifelong student of both psychology and parapsychology, inspired by psychic and empathic experiences from her earliest memories, and challenged by emotional difficulties due to type II Bipolar Disorder, which onset at puberty. While editing a story which she had created 14 years previously, Lily had an experience which radically transformed not only the story but her own perspective on the living world and the world that lies beyond the veil of material existence.
Inspired by the works of classic horror writers such as Ambrose Bierce, H.P. Lovecraft and Stephen King and aided by the skillful contributions of a literal "ghost writer," Lost Beneath The Surface is the first in a unique series of esoteric horror novels. Lily reluctantly decided to publish her creative work under a pseudonym due to the desire to protect the privacy of her family and to preserve her professional life from the potential ramifications of her controversial beliefs.

For more information, visit http://www.outskirtspress.com/lilystrange

Our press release!

Check out our fabulous, professionally written press release! Not written by me--I'm incapable of this kind of writing. At least if you want it not to suck.

Fund Raising

Several new ideas are brewing. One is to form a co-op for creative writers on the main site. Each person could include a banner and/or a sample of their story in exchange for providing me a link, banner or writing sample on their site.
This prompts me to make a story co-op blog. Unless your name is Stephen King or J.K. Rowling, you probably need all the free press you can get. In a greedy world, folks helping other folks is more necessary than ever. Can't say it's ever gotten me ahead yet but I still believe in it. And maybe I've learned a trick or two in my many years being a pain in everyone's ass. I'll get started on it right away.
Our other new fund raiser involves selling candles. These aren't just any candles. They're long lasting, smell great, melt evenly, don't send up puffs of sooty smoke to char the candle or the jar, and if you're a believer, believe me that they appeal to both air and fire elementals. You can carve your wish in the candle and boost the power of your spell. Or just burn them to enhance the atmosphere in your home. Great for aromatherapy too!
To check out the candles go to Cie's website. If you sign up to be a distributor yourself you can get one big candle ($18.95 retail value) plus 12 votives every month at wholesale price, totalling $36 per month. If you burn a lot of candles this is a damn good deal especially for candles of this quality. Or just pick and choose from the catalog. For every jar candle sold I get six bux to split between covering operating costs and donating to WHO mental health division. Pretty cool!
Should you choose to participate you get a nice candle AND good karma. And who couldn't use more good karma? If you have any extra shoot some my way!
Blessings,
Lily

Traffic Exchanges

Broke people trying to advertise invariably turn to traffic exchanges. This blog is in the process of reviewing a bunch of different ones. Traffic exchanges are a real pain in the ass. You want to find a few that give you a lot of return for the time you end up spending surfing, and maybe a couple that you'll consider upgrading with so you don't have to surf as much. The aforementioned blog may be able to save you some time. It's pretty new but I think will grow into a good resource.
So far this is my favorite traffic exchange. My experience has been very positive and I'm actually going to upgrade.

It's To Die From!

I'm just setting up some graphics that I may use in the future. I use the "My Space" graphics a lot even though I don't have a My Space account because they're free use. And wouldn't all the teenies that use My Space just, like, throw up and die to know that some old hag was, like, using THEIR stuff!
It's such fun realizing that one day these teenies will be all, like, old and wrinkled and they'll be, like, getting all botoxed out and stuff. Not me, thanks. I was always a big bad curmudgeon. The exterior is just starting to fit the interior.
Pardon me while I play with some graphics.

Myspace Layouts


Myspace Layouts


Myspace Layouts



Myspace Layouts



Myspace Layouts



Myspace Layouts



Myspace Layouts

D'oh!

This may seem like a no-brainer, but when you use free traffic exchanges, such as those listed at the bottom of the blog, you need to be sure that you assign the credits you earn or buy for your site. I didn't catch onto this right away. My excuse is that working nights for so many years has fried my brain as well as my adrenal glands.
Also, be sure you've input your site address, any banners you may have, and think up a clever text link. If you're like me, advertising seems a bit like selling your soul. You also have to consider who your targets are likely to be. For instance, while people on a metaphysics forum might be interested in a text link that says Horror Fiction Meets Metaphysical Truth, horror fans are probably more likely to be intrigued by one that says Sex Drugs Rock and Vampires. Try a few different things and see what works.
I think I'm going to try the evil Google Adwords again. Hope it works better this time than it did when I was trying to sell adult products. Marketing erotica and sex toys may have worked for Phil Harvey, but I think that by now Adam and Eve (Phil Harvey's company) has taken over the world. The adult market is pretty well saturated.
So here I go, surfing for points. Hope I catch a decent wave.
Yeah, that was bad. Kill me now.
Here is a free traffic exchange for you to try. I don't have an assessment--I'm just trying it myself. But since it doesn't cost anything, it can't hurt to check it out.

Host Monster and Page Wizard

Host Monster is my hosting provider, and their rates are very reasonable. For HTML 'tards like me, they also offer the horrible Page Wizard to help you construct your web pabes. Sadly, Page Wizard is better than a lot of WYSIWYG page design programs out there, and I can tell you that I find it heinous. I can't wait until I can afford to try Dream Weaver.

What's wrong with Page Wizard, you may ask?

The main things are:

It doesn't support Javascript

You can't import web pages you've already designed elsewhere

Limited fonts

For fuck's sake, get some new templates already! Not everyone is interested in business templates.

At times when you want to change the font, it resists. You have to cut the text out of the "insert text" box, then delete the text box and start fresh with a new one.

I don't know that any of the other hosting provider's WYSIWYG designer offerings are any better. Hostmonster has been pretty good to me. The one time I did have to call them I got someone who actually spoke English, was able to answer my questions and resolve my issues quickly, and didn't call me "sir." Click the link at the bottom and check them out.

A word to the wise: If you encounter anything that tries to suck you into paying for service with the hosting provider Midphase, run away very, very fast. Their crappy service has its tech support routed to India, where they hire people who do not have very good command of the English language and you will never get your question answered. It is also impossible to cancel your service. Midphase sucks, do not use it! My experience with them when I was attempting to do affiliate marketing was horrible.

The Other Side of Writing

Or the unromantic horror of being an author. All the stuff besides writing really cool stuff that you just love--and sometimes your editor--who really is a very sensible guy--puts a bunch of red pen through and gives you his recommendation for how to make it more readable...and the damn jackal is right!!

My hope with this blog is that I'll be able to help others who come after me avoid some of the pitfalls I stepped into. I also will be able to discuss technical stuff here, such as the design of the webpage, and the hell of advertising on a nil budget. Yeah, it's a bitch-fest. You can help me by critiquing my pages, keeping in mind that I am not an HTML wizard, I don't have access to more than a shit page creator at this point, and I don't have the money to hire a professional. I appreciate honest criticism. You can even tell me things such as "Lily, the background on this page sucks butt and here's why," just so long as you have something real to say.

I'll get a couple of questions out of the way right now and since I already said it here, I don't intend to answer these again.

Q. Do you really believe you wrote this book with a ghost? I mean--really--are you that nuts?

A. Yes and yes.

Q. But I don't believe in ghosts.

A. That's all right. They may or may not believe in you.

Q. Listen, about this ghost thing...

A. What part of "this website is about technical and marketing shit" didn't you understand?

With the snarky answers to the inevitable question out of the way, let me state that I do intend to make a blog to address metaphysical issues. Given the nature of my book, I feel this is only right. But this blog isn't it!